It stands as an evening of decisive closure
At first sight, that is how it stands.
A doubt blinks slowly somewhere in the distant within
Obscured under that first sight of its dare,
Lies the evening of decisive closure:
A closure bid out to those warm arms of independence,
Of solace, of thoughts uninterrupted, of dreams, of being... and of escape.
And yet, the evening is not unlike one of beauty, one of smiles.
Adorned so it does stand, bestowing the fickle feathers of doubt
Soon to fly and blow away without a trace
Until held down upon by a tragic weight.
But I hope to let it fly, to fly far out and away
For, the evening deserves to smile, wide and unbound.
As it already does with a subtle imposition
It stands also as that decisive evening
If I so choose to let it be, or does fate one cannot say.
And that is when a heartbeat stabs through
That gateway to a familiar obstinacy –
of propositions, more dreams, possibilities –
And thoughts that have not graced me within for a long time now.
What lies beyond is a world not heard or sought of late
Not so by men, always so elusive of our fatal dance.
And as I turn now, to look at this time in the eye,
Step forth with defiance on blind faith, on unexplored logic, on uncertainty.
It is when I feel it rise:
Hope stretching out to hold my hand...
destined to dive in common faith
As if so naive to losses and ruins
Asking me to try, to let it happen, and to see...
And so I nod, hoping, seeking, letting it fly
In this evening of a decisive take off –
Like the slowest dropping of eyelids
to all that’s beside and behind;
With arms that stretch out in tandem,
Stabbing into those sides,
though simultaneously and suddenly so disconnected
Waiting to fly, helping to fly.
That is how, when and why the body leaps.
And for the seconds that would follow,
I so know –
That it would feel both like a flight and dive
With lines obscured as to whether I’ll go
a little further above or fall into inevitability
And we shall see – for what appears to be
my rare unrisk to the world, but
It is yet another risk that I have rendered myself to,
Given in, to decisions, to closure, to closeness
Whether the beauty matches this evening
We shall see, we shall see.
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© 2015 Malay Upadhyay
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